Breastfed by the moon

A big slippery fish slides down my throat to get stuck cuz fins don’t fit through. Gills open then close in search of life continuity, fins scrape the sides of my insides and nothing seems to help. Fuck! Get out get out get out. Do not put it off, D. You simply can’t, so, you won’t.

So my attitude was first of searching: go talk, present the problems by browsing through the edges; don’t take it personal-kinda-thing –> which leads to getting my point across only through implication, counting on the perceptiveness of my listener. Oh poor me, victim of circumstance, sorry it all got messed up. What can we do… Too much of a chicken shit to say things clearly… and then too much of a cry baby to blame the world for the unfortunate way things end up. Oh come on, silly boy! Step up step up, rise above, no one’s gonna bite you… and if they do, what’s the big deal? You have enough fish and tadpoles and snakes and electric eels and guppies and elephants swimming and splashing in your belly. You are not your emotions, they may go in the same way they come… did you feel this way yesterday? will you feel this way forever on? Hold onto it if you want, cuz they tend to pass on their own… and new ones will come, too… agitated and muddy, the water? let it rest, clear it will... So, step up step up, no use getting tangled. f l o w.

So what is it that I want?

Make up my mind, I am in charge of my shit, so: go talk, with my decision already made –> communicate my plans. Let the rest of the world deal with what’s to come. You do your shit, little boy… if you don’t, who will? If not now, when? The fish moves a bit but doesn’t quite fall through. Push the meeting an hour away, eat lunch, play guitar… came up with 2 more songs… Attitude still piked, the sky slips through my head as I ride the bike across the building reflections in puddles left by storm. The belly wants to expulse that which hasn’t yet gotten there, and all that’s been left to rot. The shadow of habit seems stronger, the bars are already bent, though...

So how can I get what I want in the most economic and honest way? Without hurting myself or those around?

Mind made, directions explored: present the 'facts', my responsibility in it all, and that which is beyond my control; clearly state the way out (according to me), emphasizing my wants, my concern, disposition to work, and point of letting go for whatever’s to come -> dialogue, arrive at a solution without compromising on the things that are not for compromising. Smile on my face, a red light enters my throat and the fish dissolves, all impressions of negative and confused words disappear… My speech is, clear and flowing with wisdom, a powerful tool for benefiting others.